How is it just one month? I can’t even say it without a deep sense of mourning for a time when I wasn’t dealing with it all. Just one month ago. To reflect on what’s happened in that time is both tragic and beautiful. Life has once again changed dramatically, more than any other point […]
CORDELIA EDIT 4v3 So here we are. Again. Facing the heart-breaking reality that treatment options within standard of care, in particular for brain cancer, are exceedingly limited. I’m currently limited to palliative chemo to try and hold back any further growth and been told point blank by NHS doctors, there’s no point in even exploring […]
The breath of relief. I had the amazing news last week that my tumour has shrunk. Incredible given that I’ve only had 2 cycles of chemo so far. I felt physically lighter when I got out of the appointment, finally able to breathe. What I didn’t feel unfortunately though, was jubilation and that in itself […]
Today I Surrender. I surrender to the fear. I’m still in my pyjamas and in the comfort of my bed, allowing, welcoming even, the tears and the pain. I’m alone but right now that’s what I need. Quiet to hear my darkest thoughts and space to hold them without judgment. It’s difficult when you have […]
It’s been 9 days since I last wrote. 14 days since my scan and only 1 week since my life has been once more flipped upside down. In that tiny blip of time I’m back to being a cancer patient and have already started my first cycle of chemotherapy. It’s hard, almost impossible to describe […]
A tailspin of emotions. Scared mainly but with a big dose of overwhelm, numbness, and frantic overthinking for good measure. I can’t function properly, forget in an instant something I know I shouldn’t, lose myself in replaying the words and facial expressions, scrutinising anything I might have missed. I go back and forth and back […]
Finding a definition that portrays the meaning of the word ‘hope’ to cancer patients is impossible. I’ve searched every dictionary due to my fascination of its importance and nothing depicts it accurately enough. One day however, through the enlightening online course ‘Deepening Into Life with Donna Lancaster’, we were tasked with reading ‘The Book of […]