Author: cordelia82

As the new year begins I thought I should give a long-overdue update. It’s taken so long because for the last few months of 2023 my quality of life has been so impacted by either my cancer or side-effects of treatment that I’ve barely been functioning. To say I’ve been struggling is an understatement. I’ve […]

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  For weeks I’ve been holding onto a photo of of the operative MRI my neurosurgeon had shown me after the surgery. Desperate to share it given how dramatic it was but it looked too good to be true and despite the evidence I just wanted confirmation before opening it to the world. My next […]

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I’ve let this week play out without any expectations apart from giving myself permission and space to feel anything and everything. What happened was an honouring to all parts. The first day honouring the fight and exhaustion of 5 long years. Another day I woke up needing to grieve for but after an intense emotional […]

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It’s not quite here yet, one week to go, but after years of envisaging, daring to dream of this momentous date, it actually feels like it’s suddenly creeped up and it’s far heavier than the pure celebrations I imagined it would be. 5 years ago. How everything can change in a split second. EVERYTHING. One […]

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Fear. Of dying. Of losing more functions Of not knowing how long I’ll be unable to do anything myself. Is everything set up in case someone else needs to do it for me? My will, passwords, authorisations, funeral wishes, letters, videos, dear Lolita… Ensuring there’s time to make a few last memories, have some joy […]

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On the face of it yesterday (Thursday 17th Aug) should have been upsetting. I was told after a further review that unlike previously thought, my tumour has mildly progressed since my last scan 6 weeks ago. It’s obviously not what I was hoping to hear but given the increase in my symptoms I wasn’t surprised […]

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I got some preliminary scan results yesterday. It hasn’t been reviewed by all the experts yet but my oncologist doesn’t think from a first look that there’s been any progression since the scan 6 weeks ago. This is obviously hopeful but not clear cut. I have to wait for the complete review and report and […]

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CORDELIA EDIT 4v3 So here we are. Again. Facing the heart-breaking reality that treatment options within standard of care, in particular for brain cancer, are exceedingly limited. I’m currently limited to palliative chemo to try and hold back any further growth and been told point blank by NHS doctors, there’s no point in even exploring […]

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That’s all I can do at the moment. Keep believing. For me, for Loli, for all of us. In the week since I got the news that my cancer is back with a new highly aggressive inoperable tumour that was non-existence only 3 mths ago, I’ve been ‘living’ in a half world of unknowns, terror, […]

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