This scan is different. The first one since I stopped the super-strength Lomustine chemo and went back to the original, lower toxicity TMZ. It was a risk that I had no real choice in because my body couldn’t tolerate Lomustine so it was this or nothing and tomorrow I will find out if it’s been enough to at least keep it stable.

It feels like my life will be determined in just over 24hrs and I’ve just got to sit and breath it out until then. You can’t help however running through every scenario, wondering what you will do. It’s not helpful though so I’m trying to change tack and I’ve been visualising my oncologist telling me miraculous news that this chemo has pushed the tumour back. Highly unlikely but I’ve been in the highly unlikely club before.

Athletes visualise themselves winning a race so it’s the same really. I can do it. We can do it. If you have a second, please visualise that moment for me too. Thank you.