This scan is different. The first one since I stopped the super-strength Lomustine chemo and went back to the original, lower toxicity TMZ. It was a risk that I had no real choice in because my body couldn’t tolerate Lomustine so it was this or nothing and tomorrow I will find out if it’s been enough to at least keep it stable.
It feels like my life will be determined in just over 24hrs and I’ve just got to sit and breath it out until then. You can’t help however running through every scenario, wondering what you will do. It’s not helpful though so I’m trying to change tack and I’ve been visualising my oncologist telling me miraculous news that this chemo has pushed the tumour back. Highly unlikely but I’ve been in the highly unlikely club before.
Athletes visualise themselves winning a race so it’s the same really. I can do it. We can do it. If you have a second, please visualise that moment for me too. Thank you.
I’ll be thinking about you tomorrow. I had scan results 10 days ago. Absolutely nerve wracking. More than happy to imagine a positive news for you. Looking forward to your next update. Take care.
Visualising, manifesting and praying dearest Cordelia xxxx
We’ll be visualising Cords, good luck tomorrow- lots of love ❤️ to
Dear Cordelia – I can sense your anxiety between each line of your blog and it breaks my heart. Please remember that your chances are at least 75% that the MRI report will be OK. There are only 4 possible results and 3 of them are pretty good:
1. no real change from the prior MRI, i.e., a stable MRI; (we’ll take it!)
2. an identifiably positive change from the prior MRI (We all hope and pray this is yours.))
3. a change from the prior MRI that has to be watched in the future but really is just that – something to be watched; or
4. an identified change that has a potential of being or becoming an unwanted change. It’s still not terrible; it just means the doctor has to come up with a gameplan to beat it back.
Sending you my strongest wishes for a wonderful MRI result.
Dear Cordelia,
A friend shared your recent comments with me. I am acquainted with your hopes and fears since my husband was ill from 2016-2018 with a brain stem glioma.
I think when we are in the situation, we vacillate often on the spectrum of hope versus despair. We are basically people of hope, but as intelligent beings, we understand the severity of brain tumor disease and its possible outcomes.
Continue with prayer and hope and I will pray for you, as I do for those ill with brain tumor disease and other serious illnesses.
With understanding and compassion…………..Pat
Visualising with you
With love
Sending millions of positive thoughts & vibes to you for tomorrow & of course loads of love too xxx
We are all visualizing with you, Cords! ❤️