I’m writing this shattered from what seems like an endless day of preparing for the appointment, trying to listen and take in every word from our Neurosurgeon and then talking and processing it all with Danny after so I might not sound particularly spritely but I’m actually in a really good place.

There were several truly fantastic outcomes from the scans and tests of which the main one is that the optic nerve that they thought was running through it has actually been pushed out the way by the tumour itself. Seriously Buttercup, well done, you big beaut.

He also confirmed it isn’t near my speech which means this combined with the optic nerve news means it has a big impact on what they can do. They are now pretty confident they can surgically remove far more and whilst we’ve made the decision that it’s still too risky to take 100% of it out they can hopefully get pretty close to it.

Following the operation they’ll then be able to analyse it under a microscope to get a definitive understanding of the grade and type which will essentially determine whether it’s cancerous or likely to become in the imminent future. This will in turn allow us to make an informed decision on how to treat the remaining parts still in me. It will either be ‘watch and wait’, radiotherapy or chemo. Unfortunately it takes them up to 2 weeks to analyse but to be honest I’m getting pretty used to waiting.

Talking of waiting they’re unlikely to be able to book me in for surgery for at the very least another month. This is because they want to do it in a specialist room with an MRI scanner so they can keep scanning me during op. Thank god I’ll be out of it this time. This room is rarely available hence the wait but again I’m ok with that.

Most of the other risks are less than half a percent including partial paralysis although that might temporarily occur from swelling but will only last 6 months to a year, no biggie right?! A couple of other risks are considerably higher but they’re either manageable or treatable so all in all it’s been a relief seeing him and finding out these results.

I’m also determined to make this month or more before the surgery a positive experience filling my days with people I love, doing things I love. How lucky am I.