19th September – 3 Years On. My Day of Gratitude

3 years.

I’ve been waiting, hoping, believing but also doubting whether I’d get to this day since almost the moment I was told I probably wouldn’t. In the cancer world the big milestone to reach is normally 5 years but for Glioblastoma that’s pretty unimaginable. 

My MRI this week was again completely clear as it has been since the last little bit of tumour vanished from sight over 2 years ago.

An extraordinary responder. That’s what one of my Doctors calls me. All I know is that I’m very very lucky.

I woke up this morning and after taking a moment to sit and listen, the gentle tears came like they do most days I find a moment to take stock. They’re not tears of sadness. They’re tears of beauty.

Unlike the last two years of anniversaries where the week leading up to this day has been filled with comparing my life from ‘before’ to ‘after’, today feels different. I’ve got accustomed to my new world and to be honest it’s really not dissimilar to anyone else my age with a young child. 

I’m still reflecting but now in a way of amasement of all the things I didn’t know I’d ever have or see again in those early days of diagnosis. My daughter starting school, another Christmas, another year watching the seasons show the beauty of the world around us, the ability to spend whole days not thinking about my cancer, being able to plan months, years even, in advance, allowing myself to dream about the future, working and driving again, accepting that life will be what it will be and that anything can happen to anyone so why should I live my life in any more fear than the next person.

My life is far from perfect, I have deep frustrations and other worries but they’re no worse than what other people in this world are going through at the moment. And they can’t overshadow the significance of where I am.

This day has become to me a day of gratitude. A day to remember everything I am thankful for, especially waking up alive.

I would love to think people might read this and take a moment today to think of any small beauty in their life they’re grateful for too. It’s given me 3 years of joy. How lucky am I.