Yesterday was horrific. Truly awful. Up there with one of the worst times of my life. Well apart from the tiny bits when we actually got to celebrate Danny’s birthday. Before I explain more I should say one thing I probably wouldn’t read this if you’re really claustrophobic and/or have an MRI coming up. Claustrophobia […]

Clearly at the moment my judgements are off. I don’t trust anything, especially my own mind and I am constantly looking to family and friends to reassure and validate what has just happened in the moment before. The vast majority of time this is a straight forward eye contact, nothing unusual here reassuring look. A […]

It’s his birthday and with everything going on I’ve been a bit crap at sorting out much apart from taking him to France this weekend. Ok, so rereading that it sounds a bit silly but in terms of today, his actual birthday, I haven’t even given him a card yet or made him a birthday […]

The last few days have felt a little like life is getting back to ‘normal’. Not in the sense of how I see, feel or am – I’m still living in this new world but in the sense of life just continuing and all the activities that need to happen to push it forward. Truth […]

Last night, just for a couple of hours, was the first time I was alone in the house during the stillness of the night. I had to literally boot my parents out the door with some heavy emotional blackmail of letting me be slightly independent and trusting that I would call at the slightest wiff […]

I thought it might be worth an update on Buttercup’s effects. I was finally told by the doctors a few days ago that my new world is most likely due to the tumour rather than the drugs or the seizures I had at the beginning as my ‘symptoms’ haven’t changed and I’m now off all […]

I saw my 2 step sons for the first time yesterday since all this has happened. They are 7 and 11 and were told bits and bobs since the very beginning although obviously there are certain elements they don’t need to know. So what do you say? So far I’d left it completely to Danny […]

Blimey. Buttercup is rather attention seeking. It is apparently over half the size of half my head and has likely been there for many many years. How crazy is that? Whilst we’d seen the scans in the last appointment we got more information with this new neurosurgeon (private although please no judgements or comments either […]

Wow, just wow. The comments, the messages, the posts, the texts, the calls, everything has been out of this world. Truly and utterly blown me away. I won’t lie and say I thought no one would read it but I never ever thought the response would be so kind, generous and interested. And I cannot […]

I’ve been semi awake since 3am. Not stressed and my mind has been racing yet again with all that’s happened and will be happening. Every morning I have an immense sense of what can be achieved. Nothing feels unachievable despite the fact that’s the complete opposite of what I was feeling before all this happened. […]