Blimey. Buttercup is rather attention seeking.
It is apparently over half the size of half my head and has likely been there for many many years. How crazy is that?
Whilst we’d seen the scans in the last appointment we got more information with this new neurosurgeon (private although please no judgements or comments either way on this) who really showed and explained to us what the pictures actually meant.
A lot of it still isn’t known but here are 2 very few facts:
What this means is that they have to do lots and lots more tests before the surgery. The reason for this is so we and them can determine what exactly they’re going to do in the surgery based on what risks are involved. They still think (huge stress that this is still a guess) that it’s a grade 2 tumour (worst is 4) but tests will hopefully show more and then after they get it out they’ll known for definite.
Apparently there’s less than half a % chance of dying in surgery itself (yay) but the big risks are what taking out Buttercup might do to me after. This could be everything from being paralysed down one side of my body to my memory to my personality to absolutely nothing at all.
So.. the tests will give us all a better indication of the risks then we decide whether it’s worth lots of different surgical options of which some might be leaving bits of Buttercup there and just monitoring / managing it /other technology going forward although that will only be tiny bits.
Big things to process right?
BUT I am still, in total utter honesty, being positive and trying to find the fascinating things in all this. I mean it is so nuts that it is just there, that big, inside me for years. I even asked Danny after if he felt like he even knew me and was wondering who on earth he’d been in a relationship with..!! Do I even know myself?!
The other fascinating thing is the types of surgery they might do. They don’t think I’ll be awake but one of the tests will be to determine whether it might affect my speech and therefore I would need to be. Woah. They might also do it in an MRI scanner itself. And then afterward they’ll actually freeze it for some reason I can’t remember. So so random but yeah come on who can’t feel special hearing that and how did I know that big old Buttercup would indeed be bottled up.