Me and my Buttercup brain tumour
It’s gone. Again. It might say something about everything else I’m dealing with to understand why it’s taken me this long to put it out there but on 1st February I found out that the new tumour which appeared on my scans back in September has now completely disappeared. It’s absolutely extraordinary. Just 4 cycles […]
The breath of relief. I had the amazing news last week that my tumour has shrunk. Incredible given that I’ve only had 2 cycles of chemo so far. I felt physically lighter when I got out of the appointment, finally able to breathe. What I didn’t feel unfortunately though, was jubilation and that in itself […]
Today I Surrender. I surrender to the fear. I’m still in my pyjamas and in the comfort of my bed, allowing, welcoming even, the tears and the pain. I’m alone but right now that’s what I need. Quiet to hear my darkest thoughts and space to hold them without judgment. It’s difficult when you have […]
It’s been 9 days since I last wrote. 14 days since my scan and only 1 week since my life has been once more flipped upside down. In that tiny blip of time I’m back to being a cancer patient and have already started my first cycle of chemotherapy. It’s hard, almost impossible to describe […]
A tailspin of emotions. Scared mainly but with a big dose of overwhelm, numbness, and frantic overthinking for good measure. I can’t function properly, forget in an instant something I know I shouldn’t, lose myself in replaying the words and facial expressions, scrutinising anything I might have missed. I go back and forth and back […]
Finding a definition that portrays the meaning of the word ‘hope’ to cancer patients is impossible. I’ve searched every dictionary due to my fascination of its importance and nothing depicts it accurately enough. One day however, through the enlightening online course ‘Deepening Into Life with Donna Lancaster’, we were tasked with reading ‘The Book of […]
3 years. I’ve been waiting, hoping, believing but also doubting whether I’d get to this day since almost the moment I was told I probably wouldn’t. In the cancer world the big milestone to reach is normally 5 years but for Glioblastoma that’s pretty unimaginable. My MRI this week was again completely clear as it […]
Since I have started this blog and through word of mouth I am often asked privately to share what I have done medically and any knowledge I have on the best way to approach a new diagnosis of cancer. In addition to all the feelings trying to process the horrendous news that you or a […]
I have written a journal sporadically since I was a child. Aside for being an incredible therapy tool, I write because I find it fascinating reading back either many years later or sometimes just a few days. It’s your own personal history book which will make you reflect, laugh, cringe, reminisce but also read with […]
For the last 4 years when a new year is starting I have used Project Love’s brilliant end of year journal (www.loveprojectlove.com) to reflect on the past year, helping to realise what I want to achieve and creating the life I want to lead. This year a lot of people have said that they bet […]